2012: A Year to Forget

I subscribe to a daily missive from The Roseville Chamber of Commerce here in Northern California. Today’s article is about the new year on the horizon. I got a real kick out of this… Enjoy!

2012: A Year to Forget

The New Year is fast approaching. This is the time of year that I get the most reflective, looking back on my life and on the previous year. “Am I happy with how I’ve lived in 2011?” It’s also the time I look forward to the coming year. At this point, 2012 exists as pure potential. It can be anything I want it to be.
There are so many New Year’s resolution articles written in December that I decided to go the other way. If I wanted to make 2012 just another average year, if I wanted to settle into a nice little rut, how would I do it? Well, here are 12 ways that any of us can make 2012 a year to forget.

1. Get Distracted by Opportunity: Nothing will get 2012 to fly by without anything to show for it like jumping at every opportunity you see. The great thing about this is that it actually looks and feels like you are being productive without ever having to fully commit to any one thing. And because you don’t fully commit to any one direction, you won’t complete anything.

2. Say Yes to Everything: This is closely related to #1. This is all about over-obligation. Are you already maxed out? Great! Volunteer to be a classroom parent with your child’s school, take a night class, buy a puppy, and agree to that project at work that will require you to be in the office on Sundays. If you say yes to every possible obligation, you will have dozens of excuses as to why your life sucks, you don’t connect with your kids, your marriage is failing, and you haven’t accomplished anything truly important.

3. Avoid New Things: In order to make 2012 just another year, it will be important to limit new experiences and new friendships. After all, you’ve gotten to this point in your life without them. By sticking with your familiar life, you are sure to remain stuck.

4. Just React: Living a reactive life is a great approach to mediocrity. Spending each day reacting to email, customer complaints, office drama, problems with your kids or your spouse are all awesome methods of distracting yourself from the real issues you should be focused on. After all, if you’re putting out fires all day, how can you possibly be expected to focus on your health, your relationships, or building a meaningful life that is full of purpose?

5. Hold Grudges: Because relationships are the most important factor in our happiness and our living a meaningful life, it is important for you to do anything you can to neglect or damage your most important relationships. Grudges are great for that. Did your brother borrow money and not pay you back? He sounds like a deadbeat; you don’t need him in your life. Did your best friend from high school miss your birthday party? What a jerk, who needs her? Did you go into business with a friend or family member, only to have it fall apart? What a great reason to cut them out of your life. Forgiveness is for sissies.

6. Blame Them: Your mantra for 2012 should be “It’s not my fault.” Go ahead; say it out loud “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” Feels good doesn’t it? The best thing about “It’s not my fault.” is that because nothing is your fault, you don’t have to DO anything to fix it. Cool huh? Plus, you and all of the other “It’s Not My Faulters.” can get together to complain about how other people are ruining your lives. Sweet!

7. Assume the Worst: Face it, people are bad. Sure may be a couple of exceptions, but in general, everybody is out for themselves and will take advantage of you to get what they want. In order to protect yourself from this scary world, you have to keep your guard up at all time. Did someone open the door for you and smile? He’s probably a pervert who just wants to look at your butt as you walk by. Did someone offer to help you at work? She’s probably just positioning herself so she gets the credit for all of your hard work. Add this to your other mantra, “Don’t trust anyone.”

8. Rescue Everybody Else: The people you surround yourself with are pretty worthless aren’t they? If you weren’t there to save the day, to fix their mistakes and to rescue them from bad decisions, their lives would be in shambles. Saving other people from themselves is AWESOME! Not only does it feel good to be the hero, it also maintains your power over them, and the best thing is that because you are so focused on saving everybody else, you “don’t have time” to take control of your own life and fix your own problems. Who cares that your life is falling apart around you? As long as you have people to save; people who are weaker than you, everything will be alright.

9. Avoid Risk: Attorneys have a rule that says “If you don’t know what the answer will be, don’t ask the question.” Living by this rule in the courtroom limits their risk and helps them win cases. You should apply a similar rule to your life in 2012. If you don’t know the outcome of something, don’t do it. In order to maintain the status quo in your life, play it safe at all times.

10. Seek Pleasure Above Purpose: Author and concentration camp survivor, Viktor Frankl, wrote that “Those without purpose fill their life with pleasure.” Perfect! In order to avoid any stray thoughts of a purposeful life in the coming year, it will be important to find as much pleasure as possible. Any kind of addiction will suit your needs: food, sex, alcohol, drugs, TV, video games, social media, or gambling. Pick one and run with it.

11. Procrastinate: There is nothing so important that it can’t wait until later. This is especially true of working out, starting to eat better, spending quality time with your kids/spouse, filing your taxes, or figuring out what the heck you want to do with your life. The world won’t end if you push any of those things until tomorrow…or better yet, next week.

12. Believe the Haters: If somebody tells you that you can’t do it, they are probably right. If someone tells you that you aren’t smart enough, good looking enough, you don’t have enough experience, you don’t have the right degree or certification, LISTEN TO THEM. They are just protecting you from making a fool of yourself and from feeling the pain of failure. Imagine the paradise that the world would be if everybody listened to their critics. We should all be so lucky to have someone like that in our lives.

Well, there you have it. By following these 12 principles in the coming year, you are sure to make 2012 a year to forget. Happy New Year!

Are there any principles I missed?

Take the lead,

Jeremiah